What happens when you feel like the world within you is crumbling down? You dont have anyone to turn to even if you have a million friends....You are scared of being judged or the situation could not be understood even when explained in simple terms. You feel so scared till you dont feel scared anymore. You get angry with how things turn out for you, and yet when you stop and take a breather. Realising how your not the only one who is living in this world. Everyone has problems too. Maybe not as bad as you, maybe much worse. But who decides ?

The journey still goes on no matter what, take a break, breathe deeply and the tests in life are experiences that makes one grows and be wiser or "wiser".

i think im gonna die.

i have this red bloody thingy on my forehead, bleeds if i hit it accidentally. i dunno whether its a pimple or wat?! if it is...then why the non-stop bleeding when jus a tiny bump.???

n ive been coughing like crazy.


i think im gonna die.


forgive me if i have done or say anything that may have hurt you physically or mentally. i truly apologize for that.

sob sob sob

The last time i wrote, it was about 6 months ago.
Man! I miss writing.....i have not even been updating my own lovely diary. I transfered from the the green one to a love cloth-binded thicker book. I will update the important happenings once i have time.

June! Oh my this is not the best day of the month for me. My moods are really going hay-wired. One moment im happily smiling and all...another moment im so incredibly pissed. Could i really be?? oh my..*cross fingers* please dont let it be! please please please!!! studying all this mental illnesses, sometimes one could get overboard. i should go learn deeper into it and understand further.

i tripped over my dustbin, about half an hour ago. PISSED!!!! yet i was laughing. lol it was incredibly funny, i was so annoyed and i tripped over the bin, i got even more pissed! lol

oh well, im working tmr. better get some rest! gdnitezzzzzzz world!

Goodbye 2007, Hello 2008!

This year, it started off slow and easy...i didnt really remember much of it. But i do know that the couple of months back has been hectic and a few significant events happen at one go. Some major crisis, i turned 22 (there you go, thats the end of being a 21 year old kiddo), going back to school, resigning my lovely job n turning part-time, establishing closer relationships with my buddies (losing a few), SUPERB trip, growing abit older and mature. Thats what happen when time passes and you get older, from life experiences, you learn things and become wiser and mature. Im not saying im a total grown-up now, but i do sure act like one-thinking and acting rationally (most of the time..not always).

Tomorrow is the 31st. I have not been updating anything abt my life, neither is my diary touched. I should to update and remind myself of stuff. Oh well the reason im writing after such a long break is because its 3.59am and im not in bed yet. My heart is jumbled up with mixed feelings, sadness, happy, missing sumone (its a girl fyi) are all at one go. i cried a few times today. And tears are still pouring at this hour. Loss of a great wonderful colleague is causing me to do so. Initially when we talk abt it, i didnt see it comin to be this depressive. but now that i realise its for real, im nvr going to see her unless shes here for a holiday, i guess im gonaa miss her like crazy. oh man...why am i even feeling this way? (BTW, my ex-colleague is off back to her homeland in Thailand and will be continuing her studies) why? because for the past 1.5years, we see each other everyday, we work side by side every second, we eat, fight, argue, debate, go through difficult times and have great moments seeing each other strengths and weaknesses. We laugh at each other, support one another, scold when we do wrong hence i feel we are improving each other to be better and stronger. Thanks to my jobscope which requires us to work 6 days a week, i think i know her much more than sum other people whom i call friends.

Its strange feeling this way, im feeling even worst listening to sad songs. I wonder how am i suppose to survive when i go back to work without her. She definately a friends, an ex colleague i would never ever forget. When i rush to the airport (knowing last minute her flight was delayed), it was like it came out straight out from a movie. i called her, she didnt pick up, i walk towards the gate and there she was- almost going in, i rannnnn like all those hero you see in the movie and caught her just in time. Im soo glad i got to say the last gdbye. okie shit i could no longer continue already. my heart is really aching.

Oh welllll....I would nvr regret any of the things i have done in 2007, it has definately been a great year and im looking forward to 2008! not gonnaaa be easy. So let me wish whoever is left reading my poor ignored blog a HAPPY NEW YEAR for 2008 and may you have a great lovely year ahead of you!!!

UPDATE UPDATE!!!!!


Hey its been the longest time since i last update. and i have sooooooooooo much things to say in just one post. So dear blogspot ( im referring to to blogspot n not my frenly readers coz i dont think anyone will be visiting tis dear abandoned blog ahhahaa), bear with me please. lol

Firstly, I would like to announce that im no longer workinG!!!! Yes working with children has been lots of fun. Especially with great wonderful laraaaaaaaaa! The rest are still too new for me to comment on anything. I miss my job like crazy man! ive been dreamin of the kids the past few days. I dont know whether this is normal, but it seems that everyone is happy when they are no longer working. Me, i almost cried the next morning. Yes, a sigh of relief to wake up late but it felt so weird. That what happens when you work almost everyday in your life. i MISS the kids oh-SO-much! i bet they are callin me, teacher saaaadiah! teacher saadiah! ive been "psycho-ing" them to pronounce my name. My last day of work was last wed, 19th Sep. After work, we went to arab street and break fast at SAMAR. DONT ever go there. Poor service, nothing-special food and it was very HOT inside. stuffy. I dont know abt u..but i would recommend anyone to go there.

Secondly, Im finally back to schoOL!! Yes im a student. Let me tell you, studying is not gonna be easy nor a piece of cake. I feel sooooo lost. Lots of reading to do, understanding and all this new terms are driving me nuts. I thought its gonna be easy. I guess its not. Not sure what i have got myself into. But no matter what, this will not stop me to reach my ultimate goal! Im bursting with full motivation and energy that i hope will last forever. Or at least till i graduate n start working. LOL Im taking Psychology at a private institution, Kaplan. If you ask me, what im gonna be when i graduate. My best answer is :- i wanna be a professional Psycho. wooOOOHOOO!!!

September is comin to an end. Im gonna be 22 in a couple of days. MAN! i feel old. Theres many more things that ive yet to do or see. People at my age have experience wayyyyy more things than me. But i guess there are ppl who are also not as fortunate as me. So i thank god for everything that i own and for giving me the chance to be here typing out this right now. Something also happen. I would not like to reveal it here, but it has definately affect me deeply. Not sure which direction its goin to, anything could happen. What i could do now, is just appreciate the little thing and do my best to make things good for everyone. They tell me, its part of growing up.

What else...what else...hmmm I just cleaned my room this afternoon. (partly) Gotta continue tmr since Hari raya is coming!! lol i notice i have lotsssssssss of stuff in my room that i have yet to use. Lots of rubbish too! Oh my! anyway, good news! my sis is moving out. to the other room. means..... *drums roll* i have the whole room to myself. YAHOO! i hope this will give me another new motivation to work hard n study more. since i have the time now, im gonna decorate my room to be a lovely study room and the best chill-out place for me to unwind and relax. YAHOoooooooooooooooooooooOOOO!!!

No cute guys around! BORING! but this also means i can focus more on the more interesting things in life. LIKE- myself ( i always find new ways to entertain myself), my family, and my friends n most importantly STUDies! lol like my mama always say im seldom get bored since im always up to something.

i have a few new resolutions to update. but i will save that for my birthday update! lol normally people would have resolutions at the beginning of the year. I would say, i could have resolutions when i get a year older. yea...i now finally know what resolutions really mean and only till now i really need this to target on something. Unlike last time i have no target n couldnt care less.

okies that it for now. its almost 1.30am. better be off readin something or finish my burger.

p.s i hope i dont get weight man! since im no longer working in the gym. =) lol

saaDiaH
still 20.Libra.blue.
loves-.butterflies.collecting pretty notebooks.foreign films.fairies.kids.magic.chEEse fries.raisins.colourful envelopes.glitter.pinics.late night feast.


happiness everyday.more family gatherings.more climber's reunions.driving license.visit beautiful Turkey.travelling.holiday at lovely beaches.to further my studies.a house of my own.a miracle.



{cheee}
{maaaaaD}
{chip & dale}
{}
{rino}
{prince eDDie}
{khai khai}
{shammmm}
{jOOOp}
{iDham & gf}
{salman}
{whiteeeeeey}
{gayboy}
{ahmaDyat}
{zarian}
{pheeee}



{anGeLa}
{huijun}
{xin xiu}
{azima}
{leeeyanaa}
{huda}
{jannnnna}
{azy}
{rufiiiii}
{nad}
{nyssa}
{faezah}